A few years ago a friend of mine emailed me the following hilarious list of little known facts about camping that I'm sure fellow campers and backpackers can appreciate. As for myself, I can absolutely confirm more than a few of these:
Suntan lotion bottles always have a habit of exploding in your backpack.
Upon hiking 8 miles into the wilderness for a weekend camping trip, you discover that you forgot to pack toilet tissue.
The new lightweight rain-proof tent you bought leaks.
The very first marshmallow roasted over an open fire always bursts into flames, and/or falls into the fire before you can enjoy eating it.
Insect repellent cans usually run empty after spraying just a single arm or leg.
You are always 1 stake short when setting up your tent.
The package of marshmallows you brought, got too hot and partially melted forming a single globular sticky mass.
Catsup bottles, when first opened, have a habit of exploding in your face.
No matter how fast you are, you can’t out run bees when you are eating something sweet.
Matches always find some way to get wet.
If the tent instructions claim it only takes 5 minutes to set up the tent, figure on spending at least 2.5 hours to set it up.
The new puncture-proof air mattress you bought will go flat on the first night of camping.
After you completely set up your tent, you discover several large hard rocks have migrated to underneath the floor of the tent.
Within 10 minutes of arriving at a new campsite, your dogs will find something smelly to roll in.
It will rain 6 out of 7 days when you go on a week long camping trip.
The number of hotdogs buns in a package is usually less than the number of packaged hot dogs.
Your tent will collapse at least twice on the first night you spend camping in the wilderness.
Your mummy bag zipper will stick closed on you and trap you in your sleeping bag when you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.