School was out and a family decided to start the summer by going camping at Silver Lake. They packed their camper, and headed up to the mountains, and after a non-stop 6 hour trip finally arrived at their favorite campground. After driving for 20 minutes, the father finally found a empty campsite that was not occupied. A nearby camper watched the man make several attempts at backing into a campsite, and after 15 minutes he finally had the camper parked on a level spot.
When the father finally turned off the engine, 5 children jumped out of the camper, and immediately began to unload the gear, and set up the kids tents as fast as possible. The boys began running around picking up firewood, and the girls helped their mother cover the picnic table with a plastic cloth before setting up the camping stove. Everyone was busy as bees, & In less than 2 minutes, the family had the campsite pretty much set up. The astonished camper in the next campsite approached the father, and complemented him on such a fine display of teamwork. The father grinned, and replied, “I have just one simple rule – No one goes to the bathroom until camp is set up!”
Suntan lotion bottles always have a habit of exploding in your backpack.
Upon hiking 8 miles into the wilderness for a weekend camping trip, you discover that you forgot to pack toilet tissue.
The new lightweight rain-proof tent you bought leaks.
Insect repellent cans usually run empty after spraying just a single arm or leg.
You are always 1 stake short when setting up your tent.
The package of marshmallows you brought, got too hot and partially melted forming a single globular sticky mass.
Catsup bottles, when first opened, have a habit of exploding in your face.
No matter how fast you are, you can’t out run bees when you are eating something sweet.
Matches always find some way to get wet.
If the tent instructions claim it only takes 5 minutes to set up the tent, figure on spending at least 2.5 hours to set it up.
The new puncture-proof air mattress you bought will go flat on the first night of camping.
After you completely set up your tent, you discover several large hard rocks have migrated to underneath the floor of the tent.
Within 10 minutes of arriving at a new campsite, your dogs will find something smelly to roll in.
It will rain 6 out of 7 days when you go on a week long camping trip.
The number of hotdogs buns in a package is usually less than the number of packaged hot dogs.
Your tent will collapse at least twice on the first night you spend camping in the wilderness.
Your mummy bag zipper will stick closed on you and trap you in your sleeping bag when you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
(Loosely based on a true story)
A young man decides to go camping and takes his faithful dog, Goldie, with him. When he arrives at his favorite campsite in the wilderness, he sits down cross-legged, opens up his backpack and shares his beef jerky with his best friend. He has had her since she was 8 weeks old, and shares everything with her. Now Goldie is a very smart dog, and always eager to please her master. She is particularly good at retrieving things, and can even predict what her master needs before he actually asks for it. When the young man walks over ½ mile to his favorite fishing pond, and discovers he forgot his fishing net, he tells Goldie to fetch the net which he left back at camp. Goldie happily runs back and brings back the fishing net. After an hour, he starts feeling a little thirsty, and Goldie runs back to camp and retrieves a can of beer for her master without him even having to ask her. “What a Good Dog”, he says, patting her sides. Later, the well trained golden retriever even helps him collect small pieces of firewood to build a campfire.
Now the young man didn’t bring a tent with him because he wanted to sleep underneath the stars. After finishing off his 4th beer, he set up his foldable cot, and laid out his new mummy bag. Just before going to sleep he tied Goldie to the cot with a 30 foot long cable to give her enough room to move around. As the young man drifts off to sleep, his faithful Goldie curls up at his feet. Early the following morning, the young man is wakened with the urge to relieve himself. When the young man tries to set up he discovers he can’t move. Apparently sometime during the night, Goldie had jumped over and went under his cot several times. He is tied down so tightly he cant even move his arms or legs and is essentially trapped in his mummy bag. After several minutes of unsuccessfully struggling to get out of his sleeping bag, he tries to get Goldie to reverse her direction, but she doesn’t understand what her master wants her to do. In fact she makes matters worse by crawling underneath the cot in the wrong direction. After an hour, the young man just couldn’t hold it in any longer, and had to relieve himself.
Suddenly Goldie sees a rabbit, and breaks her snap on collar trying to chase after it. Although Goldie is free, the young man is still securely tied up in his rather moist sleeping bag. The young man knows that after having eaten a large can of refried beans with his fish dinner an accident is imminent. However, a brilliant idea pops into his mind. He remembers he left his cell phone on the tailgate of his truck. If he just had his cell phone he might be able to speed dial 911 for help with his tongue. So he tells Goldie to fetch his cellphone, and off she goes bounding toward his truck. After 5 minutes, the young man spots Goldie on her way back from the truck with something white in her soft mouth. At first he thinks she didn’t understand him and was bringing him her tennis ball instead of the cell phone. But as she gets closer, he sees that Goldie is carrying a roll of toilet tissue………..